


Too good for me

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blindfolds, Crying, Cutting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Handcuffs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, No Smut, Non-Abusive Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, idk if that was clear enough, kokichi loves him too, kokichi used to selfharm, shuichi loves his bf, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:20:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26634994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Shuichi wants to try a new kink, and Kokichi accepts it. Things go downhill when Kokichi realizes he definitely hates it.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Kudos: 173





	Too good for me

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in less than an hour and i havent corrected it, if you found any grammar error pls tell me-
> 
> pg shuichi is a sweet bf and no one can change my mind

As Kokichi felt the first cut slice his skin open, he flinched harshly and felt tears start to build up on his eyes. It was definitely a small cut, not that deep, as if just testing things out. The knife was taken away from his skin and Shuichi paused for a second.

"Ouma-kun?" he could hear the worry in his voice. Kokichi felt his chest tighten at the thought of his expression.

He tried to gulp down the sheer amount of force tightening his throat as he held back the tears, "Yes...?" he replied as soon as he felt confident enough on his voice. Thank god it didn't break.

"Are you okay?" Shuichi's voice was still worried, and somehow, his gentle tone helped Kokichi calm down, even though he was the one holding the knife against his skin.

"I'm okay." he reassured, more to himself than to Shuichi. He was fine. He would be fine. A few cuts wouldn't hurt him much, he told himself that, although his breath was getting faster.

Shuichi didn't reply. At that moment, Kokichi wished he could see his face right now. Was he disappointed that he was clearly lying? Was he happy that he was trying to make Shuichi happy? Was he... angry with him?

He could hear the knife being put away on the bedside table, and Shuichi's hands gently making his way to the back of his head. He flinched slightly, he didn't know why, he just did. He always flinches. Shuichi untied the blindfold neatly covering his eyes and took it away, making Kokichi blink as the light reached his eyes, blinding him for a few seconds. A small tear escaped, that he barely noticed was there.

"Ouma-kun..." he could finally see his face, but he didn't want to. He didn't want to see him. Kokichi just knew that he wouldn't like whatever expression he had at that moment, so he avoided his eyes. "Ouma-kun, please look at me."

Shuichi gently touched his cheek, his touch being so light and lovingly that Kokichi didn't flinch. That was something only Shuichi was capable of doing. The taller boy moved his chin to face him, and now Kokichi didn't have a choice but to look at him.

He could feel the tears coming back to his eyes, and Kokichi couldn't hold them back this time. They rolled freely on his cheeks as he saw Shuichi's face.

His face was so soft, his eyes were looking at him oh _so_ gently. He still couldn't believe someone was able to look at him like that, with so much love. Kokichi sobbed as he thought of how disgusting he was and how he didn't deserve any of this and how Shuichi deserved so much better- but Shuichi only kissed away his tears, his thumb wiping the ones he wasn't able to kiss.

"It's okay if you want to stop. You know I won't do anything you don't want." Shuichi reassured him, but Kokichi already knew that. He knew his boyfriend wouldn't do anything to hurt him on purpose, but still... he still felt so scared when that knife touched him. He still felt like Shuichi would turn against him and stab him on his most vunerable moment, that he would betray him with a smirk on his face, that he never loved him to begin with.

He hated thinking like that. He hated _so much_. He just wanted to be able to let himself feel loved, but not even his boyfriend could convince him that he was a lovable person. He felt disgusted of himself- he agreed to try one of Shuichi's kinks, and chickened out just like that. Like a coward, always running away from his problems and the things that scare him so much.

"Ouma-kun, please..." Shuichi sighed when Kokichi didn't stop crying, he kept sobbing and sobbing. His boyfriend clicked the fuzzy handcuffs open, letting Kokichi's arms free, and he immediately hugged himself.

He didn't want to be seen now. He wanted to hide and run like he always does. He covered his head with one of his arms, curling up on himself the best he could. His naked body was completely exposed, and he couldn't help but feel how cold he was, even if the fresh cut was still burning hot. Even if Shuichi's body was still so close to him, warming him.

And then the warmth was gone.

Kokichi didn't dare look up. His boyfriend was definitely angry, so angry that Kokichi was crying like that even though he agreed on being cut open. Shuichi could leave him at any moment, and he couldn't do anything about it, because Shuichi would be way happier without him.

He hated this. He hated those intrusive thoughts so much, but they never stopped. Every damn day, he would think things like that, things that would completely destroy him and ruin the rest of his day. When did those thoughts started? He didn't know. Probably a long time ago, when he still lived with his birth givers that he refused to call them parents.

Not even Shuichi was able to stop his thoughts- Shuichi was one of the main causes, after all. Kokichi loved him so much, he wanted to be with him forever. But even when Shuichi reassured him multiple times that he loves him, he couldn't stop himself from thinking that he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve happiness. He didn't deserve love. He felt useless and powerless against his own mind, and he succumbed to the hollowness that he felt on his heart.

Kokichi flinched once again as he felt something covering him. He peeked down to his body, noticing the soft and fuzzy blanket now covering him. He felt even warmer arms circling his body from behind, bringing him close and hugging him gently. Of course Shuichi wouldn't elave him, he never does. Shuichi always does his best to help him, always making sure he was comfortable, always making sure he was happy.

The smaller boy's sobs slowly stopped, his crying now turning to small sniffles. He nuzzled on Shuichi, turning his body around to bury his head on the crook of Shuichi's neck. His hugs always calmed him down.

As Shuichi started to gently stroke his hair, he finally spoke up, "Better..?" he sounded hesitant. He always sounded hesitant after Kokichi cried.

He nodded, and Shuichi sighed happily. "'m sorry..." Kokichi's voice sounded so small, he prayed Shuichi wouldn't hear it.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have asked that to begin with." Shuichi kissed the top of his hair, and he giggled softly. It tickled. "To make it up for you, we can try something you wanna do instead."

Kokichi shook his head, closing his eyes. "'t's okay. I like the things you bring up." that wasn't a lie. He loved whenever Shuichi would use that small, egg shaped vibrator. It felt like heaven whenever he used that on him.

"I know you do. Promise I won't bring up cutting again." Shuichi sounded so regretful that it hurt him. Kokichi felt his heart squeezing as he looked up at his boyfriend, kissing the side of his mouth.

"We can try again someday. Just... not tied up or blindfolded." Shuichi shook his head at the suggestion.

"No, I don't want to see you like that again. It's okay. I never liked cutting that much anyway." he knew that was a big lie. Shuichi always had a turn on for blood, it's one of the main reasons he likes Danganronpa after all. He just wish he wasn't so weak that he was actually capable of accepting his offer.

"But..."

"No buts." Shuichi booped his nose, and Kokichi gave him a small smile at that. His boyfriend grinned at him lovingly. "I don't want my cutie-pie crying like that again."

Kokichi blushed, burying his face on Shuichi's neck once again. "Don't call me that! It's embarrassing, idiot." he still giggled.

He loved how Shuichi was able to make him forget his problems so easily, but also create so many intrusive thoughts at the same time. Anyhow, he loved his boyfriend to death, and he wouldn't trade him for anything.


End file.
